Supporting your child in his or her socialization
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It is often at preschool that children make their first friendships, and it is through play that children will most naturally relate to each other and make friends. For some children, school is the first place of socialization outside the family circle. But even for those who have been to nursery school, important changes take place during preschool in the way they play and relate to their friends.
Playing with friends, age by age
Up to the age of 2 or 3, children usually play either alone, concentrated on their activity and indifferent to what others are doing, or by watching others playing but not engaging in it.
Between the ages of 2 and 4, parallel play develops, where the child plays separately but close to others, often imitating their actions. This is the beginning of a more complex social game.
Around 3 or 4 years old the child starts to play with others, but the activity is neither organized nor coordinated (for example, he goes to play cooking and prepares a meal that he proposes to his friend, who accepts, but everything is improvised).
From about 4 years of age, cooperative play begins: the child is interested in both the people playing and the activity. The activity is organized and participants have assigned roles. This is the beginning of "teamwork".
Why is the play time so important?
Playing is natural and necessary for all children. Beyond the pleasure it provides (and knowing how to have fun is a key skill to pass on to our children!), play times allows us to develop an infinite number of socio-emotional skills: autonomy (knowing what to do when no one is directing you), communication, problem solving, negotiation, flexibility and adaptability, understanding one's own emotions and those of others, resilience, creativity and imagination.
These games can be structured, where the child has to follow instructions or rules guided by an adult (board games, puzzles, team sports) or unstructured, where the child can do what interests him/her with what he/she has at his/her disposal. It is important to find a balance between these two types of games.
How can I support my child's socialization?
Children need practice to learn how to share, take turns, resolve conflicts and feel the joy of friendship.
Take advantage of free time outside of school to take him/her to the square or park so that he/she can play freely with his/her peers. When the weather is not nice, organize snacks with his friends at home, it's a friendly and joyful way to spend the long winter afternoons!
Play with your child so that he can learn the rules of sharing, taking turns and negotiating with you!
As with any social skill, parents can help shy children rehearse in advance for a stressful situation, such as going to a birthday party or meeting a new group of people. If you notice that your child has difficulty interacting with peers, practice at home.
Help your child be a good friend
Learning to play together means learning to take into account the other's desires as well as your own, learning to negotiate and to take pleasure in sharing. These skills develop throughout childhood, and take a significant leap forward between the ages of 3 and 6. Accompany your child in this beautiful adventure:
Help your child understand the other child's point of view: "I guess Simon wants a ride too."
When you play with your child, don't let him decide everything, or always win! It's important that he learns that you too should have fun in the game, and that for this you sometimes want to choose your character or win a game.
When your child plays with another child, only interfere in their discussions if they no longer respect the rules of respect and safety. Let them as much as possible find a solution on their own. If they need your help, help them find the solution rather than giving it to them ("How can you share this ball so that both can have fun with it?").
Stay close and watch the children play together. Your visible presence encourages virtuous behaviour.
Jessica Escobar